Love Lost

i thought i had it
i thought i saw it
i thought that happiness
true happiness
was just around the corner
and now it is gone
shattered like a dish dropped on a hardwood floor
my heart is in little pieces
too small to sweep up
only the vacuum of what could have been
will suck up this mess
and i will bleed all over it
as i try and determine
what i did wrong
where i failed
how i was inadequate

so i will sleep with these thoughts
hoping to sleep forever
but sure that God will not grant me this gift
for i have fucked up
i have done wrong
even as i have sought the right
that my heart drew me to

so fuck it all
that’s how i feel
no longer a capital letter
incomplete without her
and hopeless


(fuck my life)